A Baby Story

We get a call Tuesday 14th January..... It was the state of Montana saying that Holly has had her baby and they have taken him away from her. She had made some terrible decisions while being pregnant. They needed placement for that baby, we were called as well as Nate and Kristi. Thankfully my wonderful brother and sister in law were still state licensed to foster. We discussed adoption for this child. Nate and Kristi made the decision to foster the baby until he could have a permanent home with us. It took us all of about 3 minutes to decide this life changing decision.  It just felt right, from the very start. Without trying to get attached straight away, we started talking with the social worker about adoption. She told us little details like is weight 6lbs 12oz (later Kristi told us the actual weight of 6lbs 6oz). We got a little more attached, we knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing, but we have already been through a lot of tears and smiles for this sweet innocent baby boy.

Jan 15th

 

This was the first picture I received of this sweet, innocent boy.

 

Jan 16th

 

First car ride back from the hospital with his awesome foster parents Nate and Kristi.

 

Jan 17

 

 



 

 

First bath, I am so totally over the top in love with this child. He is named Hyndrix.

 

Jan18

 

 

Seriously, can Hyndrix get any cuter?!

 

Today was one of the most emotional days I have had so far. In my head I thought that he would be home with us within a few weeks, a month at the most. Knowing all the paper work wouldn't necessary be complete but at least he will be home.  This couldn't be more wrong, as Holly hasnt signed nothing and decided to go into hiding (isn't this what every mother does when there is life changing decisions to make?).  Anyway we found out that it could be anywhere from 6-15 months before adoption can be even started with this angel.  That hurt me, why should he have to wait? Why? But it is OK, we will wait, he is worth it.  Then I find out that Nate and Kristi have been talking about keeping him if it does turn out to be a lengthy time. Heart.ripped.out wouldnt cover the feelings. 

 

 

Jan 20

We spoke to Holly today, she said she is ready to sign the baby over to us and she will speak to the social worker tomorrow. I hope she makes the right choice, to actually go down there. We are still waiting on finding out the Dad.  Things are moving too slow, Im totally in love with you Hyndrix, I hope you come home to me.

 

Jan 21

 

I spoke with Steve today, Holly didn't go and speak with him, I'm so upset right now, do we all have to be tortured through this process. When we made that decision to adopt you, we choose to make every effort to  I am not going to let you go without a fight, we made a commitment to you and we are ready for you to come home. I'm ready to be your Mummy.

 

Jan 22

 

Hyndrix, you are a very love little boy, your foster parents love you more than anything in the world. What a good start you are having.

How can I miss you when I have never met you? How can I love you this much when I have never kissed your little cheeks? Because you are my son!

 

Jan 31

 

Hyndrix, Im not your Mummy. I have cried so many tears for you, for us, for what could have been. Holly has chosen not to sign the papers and your foster parents have chosen to keep you as theirs, I guess this was the plan for you. I'm so sorry my sweet baby boy, this is goodbye.